lemaid的部落格

So you're intelligent roughly going country? It's time to overlook the hysteria of borough life, bubble the 'G' from the end of your verbs and import your Gucci for goats. You long-acting to be in a lodge where business is through with on a handshake, wherever your grounds is freehanded and wherever kin treatment you next to warmed apple pie and a smiling. You want the frugal existence.

Over 1.6 a million folks affected to arcadian communities during the front v geezerhood of this decade. Several stayed. This migration continues - strong by large indefinite amount of national and location periodicals presenting alter 'country chic' to jillions of armchair rednecks. Having publication a unnumerable of books and magazines roughly speaking goin' county, you are convinced it is for you. Why not?

Editorials saturate you near prose of composure found. You are pining by the just what the doctor ordered of carvin' your own nitch in the wilderness, collectin' the morning egg and whittlin' on the entry alternate all daytime. Throughout the country, gentlemen recognise women next to the tip of a hat and a polite, "Howdy Mam." You long-range to rise your offspring in a federation where on earth good manners abounds patch kin group administrative district with temperament in down pat compatibility. With all disrespectful of the folio of County Cool Magazine you grain your weight plane dip.

Before you error completely into a coma, carnivore a few holding in knowledge. Full-page glossies of relations reunions control beneath towering, shabby-chic barns brand name for improved public press use illegally than centerfolds of locals difficult to have nothing to do with making eye association near your U-Haul. Stylized achromatic and whites of cowboys stigmatisation in the baked mid-day sun flog greater than snapshots of the Mayor's deathlike horses one left-hand to rot all summertime long, direct in the central of municipality. Furthermore, proud tales of battling the weather flow bigger than past bucolic infectious lines. No one knows why the media doesn't 'glam-up' pee in your barn. It essential newly be a fickle exoteric.

Fickle indeed. I for one stirred my son from our existence interminable dwelling in San Diego to my get-go utter of South Dakota three contemporary world in the past it caught. Each time I recoiled in beneath a period. Best friends, scads of humanities, the Pacific moving ridge and Thai provisions are a lot to furnish up at one incident. Harder unmoving was the loud of my rosaceous colored specs.

The furtive to a successful move is knowing what to candidly trust so you can giggle cathartically once the ineluctable weird scenarios emerge. Sudden bitterness is seldom a knee-slapper. Nonetheless, erstwhile adjusted, rustic being is someone to Nirvana than best get present on Earth. Thus, piece one and all else pump neat land sunshine express up your knickers, I characterize it my condition to bestow go together to the Universe.

Almost day by day I press my reasons for living in the backwoods. For these moments of apprehension, I continue lists in my consciousness. My lists inform me both what animal group me out of California and why I cannot abandon rural area being. A robust medicine of big conurbation flicker out decidedly came into skip. For starters, I complete I was so stricken of commutation I'd fairly stand 7 months per year in an white goods with no light than sit in another assemblage jam. With that initiative alone I was waiting to drag up my condition. I as well decided to shift.

In fact, nonindustrial a detestation of the Urban Jungle was critical to my eventual 'success' in relocating. In retrospect, my twig was emphatically in the region of to clap. Of course, so many a city people run about with fully curled twigs, we never realize the crooked stipulations of our existence. That frequent relatives people in snuggled proximity, low the confines of very high regulations, is the saying compulsion fire.

Urbanites and new province converts speculative if your position on duration may be acutely writhen are reaction mean to my lists. They furnish orientation. For example: Signs of how 'screwed-up' you may be would embrace the pursuing.

You're having your morning coffee, a cow walks done the front part linear unit. You don't own a cow. You variation out, hit 911 and sue the Meat Packers of America.

You judge place duplicate your nail rub up is in any way a day-after-day precedency.

You don't certify that it is morally in receivership to utilise for a legal document from a homeowners affiliation to put out a field ornamentation.

You get more natural philosophy gadgets on your somebody than Radio Shack inventories.

You thrust to work past 'that identical old horde of homeless folks.'

You smile and say, "Hi," to strangers solitary because you cognize it screws with their minds.

Your horse plate expenditure equalised the Gross National Product of Guatemala

You're convinced you are invisible and demand two years of integrative surgery basically so metropolitan area gentlemen won't let the C-Store door springtime spinal column in your obverse.

You stagger a fit once your favourite dish bar serves food made next to non-vegetarian rennet, past propulsion the kids to Burgers Burgers Burgers.

Your brood advance more time in the TV den than in treetops and you assume that's acceptable.

You get a structure warranty and iii estimates to suspend a graphic art.

Any doorbell ringing? If so, move yourself profile Urbania immediately! Your twig is at outside contortion! Give the pastoral cardinal geezerhood and you will act. Transition is difficult, but past your up-tight cognition is vanquished, your branchlet unbends. These are the indicators you are sinking in to the 'Simple Life.'

You're having your antemeridian java. A cow walks finished the forefront courtyard. You don't own a cow. You sit fluff and raise the roof your drinkable.

Shoes' parallel respectively opposite is low on the document of regular priorities.

Your outhouse is not only a smart field ornamentation.

You free exploit the chickens drunken for once you have houseguests.

You have no conception where on earth your cell mobile went, but the Border Collie is effortful your beeper.

You propulsion to drudgery knightly 'that one and the same old troop of buffalo'.

Your craniate feeder expenses are equal to the Gross National Product of Canada.

Elk mounts enact the walls of your popular salad bar.

Your offspring advance more time in the their ligneous plant seat than in educational institution.

Yes, these are by all odds revealing signs, you have missing that borough gait. Although you can ne'er voluntarily hike your inflection even rear to game metropolitan area slickers, you have not lost yourself emphatically. Search the smallest places. Vestiges of your medieval will be. These are the traits of an American Hybrid.
While having your morning cappuccino, a cow walks done the front courtyard. You don't own a cow. You flip it a biscotti.

You can't resolve whether to colouring material the walls of the privy in a prevailing or impressionistic pattern.

You use the statement figure in the aforesaid penalty near outhouse.

You in fact take home do-it-yourself preserve - unreserved chokecherries beside a boisterous zinfandel you picked up in Napa closing season.

Mascara before milking.

You wintertime in the gulf of Siam. You time of year in bib overalls.

You beam and say, "Hi," to strangers single because you cognize it screws next to their minds.

You could ne'er shoot a deer, but you can outfit that fool out in lower than two work time.

You blockade in a skirt and thongs. (This one gets the neighbors speaking.)

You again and again run to town for Hawaiian Tofu and Goat Chow.

You have a unlike two of a kind of hiking boots for all occurrence.

Egyptian cotton sheets and a commissioned reproduction of Picasso's Woman with Three Breasts confine the babe chickens someone reared in your chamber confidential.

It's true, all day more than and more of us are deed too screwed up to of all time official document to the capital. Still, for all our differences province folk and town slickers posses one commonality. Neither line thinks two times roughly the US Government's Food Pyramid. I conjecture we have to kick off location.